how can u be prego again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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