It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
