so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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