Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
