just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I supernannyed him into submission
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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