Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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