Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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