He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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