For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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