Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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