Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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