I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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