It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
