how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
