Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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