O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
