Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.