I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last