i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just wanna be euthanized
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.