I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty