Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?

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(714): View more from California

We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now

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(253): View more from Washington

Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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(510): View more from California

Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi

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(425): View more from Washington

Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.

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