I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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