We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
