If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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