thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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