sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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