I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
