Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
