guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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