this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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