so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you had me at cake vodka
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
