If that was your dad, he is hot
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
