Where is the hickey?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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