Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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