On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
