check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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