You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
