The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
