So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
