ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
