Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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