It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Randomize
