Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
