hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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