Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
