Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
