I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
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You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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