Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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