My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
