So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
