Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
