Capitaan dildo arrescate!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
