dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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