I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
