Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
