you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
