i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
