i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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