Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
