i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
