Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize