i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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