insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
