i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
