His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
