Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1928) Bad night (923)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

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  (312): Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/1om1
  Replies (82) Good night (3543) Bad night (977)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

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  (705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk? (1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month. http://tfl.nu/0dv4
  Replies (14) Good night (3879) Bad night (936)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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  (540): I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed. http://tfl.nu/g7od
  Replies (17) Good night (1086) Bad night (3908)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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  (602): You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary. http://tfl.nu/hnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (5561) Bad night (1203)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

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  (903): omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal. http://tfl.nu/qev8
  Replies (26) Good night (17934) Bad night (1458)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

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  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1506) Bad night (6375)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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  (703): if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless http://tfl.nu/r1y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1284) Bad night (740)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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  (775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (574)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

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  (810): He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me. http://tfl.nu/paz8
  Replies (24) Good night (3222) Bad night (796)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.

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  (270): I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him. http://tfl.nu/jwhd
  Replies (1) Good night (1144) Bad night (565)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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  (315): My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair. http://tfl.nu/70uu
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (497)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

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  (312): guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. http://tfl.nu/b0nn
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (415)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

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  (425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (397)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.

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  (847): You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future. http://tfl.nu/thxq
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (173)

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