This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.