Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  These are the tickets we got last night.

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Yes...yes you did.

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  (361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen? (1-361): These are the tickets we got last night. (361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear? (1-361): Yes...yes you did. http://tfl.nu/myva
  Replies (25) Good night (4400) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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  (317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943
  Replies (4) Good night (2857) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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  (818): to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people http://tfl.nu/ib6w
  Replies (23) Good night (3867) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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  (856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon
  Replies (12) Good night (3759) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?

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  (979): we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us? http://tfl.nu/rk36
  Replies (25) Good night (4556) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.

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  (229): please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room. http://tfl.nu/c4g1
  Replies (19) Good night (7444) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2726) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.

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  (712): I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier. http://tfl.nu/5p4u
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (2723)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina

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  (402): Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina http://tfl.nu/fhci
  Replies (11) Good night (2886) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5164) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

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  (780): It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk http://tfl.nu/34yj
  Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"

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  (314): She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!" http://tfl.nu/o6vj
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus

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  (304): I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus http://tfl.nu/js0c
  Replies (12) Good night (1756) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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  (412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night

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  (909): I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night http://tfl.nu/8l7b
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (389)

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