Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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