I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
