get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
