Kiss
Puke
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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