your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
